June 10, 2022 - The other day I met a young woman who told me that we were kin to each other. She said that her great-great-grandfather was also mine. I said to her, “Then we are kissing cousins”. It seems that she had never heard that term before. So, just what are “kissing cousins”, you ask?
The official definition is this: “A relative close enough to be kissed in salutation, hence anyone with whom a person is fairly intimate.” Generally speaking, that means that first cousins are considered off limits, but second, third, and fourth cousins are fair game.
My parents always told me that first cousins should not marry as their children would be total idiots. Sure enough, it is a proven medical fact that the children of first-cousin marriages have an increased risk of autosomal recessive genetic disorders. I’m not sure what that is, but sounds very bad.
I was surprised to find out that some prominent people of the past have had cousin marriages. Author H. G. Wells married his first cousin, Isabel Mary Wells. Poet Edgar Allen Poe married his first cousin, Virginia Clemm, as did Christopher Robin Milne (son of author A. A. Milne) who married his first cousin Lesley Selincourt. Even Albert Einstein married his first cousin. One would have thought that Albert would have had enough sense not to do that.
What about today? Research reveals that almost ten percent of marriages today involve cousins, either first, second, or third. In some states, cousin marriage is legally prohibited. Texas and 23 other states prohibit marriage of first cousins.
During the Civil War, “kissing cousins” referred to relatives who held the same political views. It is noted, however, that in the mid 1700s, the meaning of the word “cousin” changed such to make the earlier definition obsolete. In William Shakespeare’s time it was common to refer to any kinsman to whom one was related as a cousin. Medieval literature indicates that back in the day “cousin” referred to any relative who was not your sibling or your parent, but it could refer to a grandchild or a godchild, as well as illegitimate children, especially those of men and women of the cloth. In other words, “cousin” had very broad applications during medieval times.
It would appear that across the centuries, the word “cousin” has been a generic word used to cover many levels of kinship. Of note is the fact that in 1796, the term “Kentish cousin” was used to describe distant relatives who actually were cousins in the sense of the word as we understand it to mean in the 21st century.
At the end of the day, there isn’t anything naughty about “kissing cousins,” and there’s nothing shameful about referring to someone as a “kissing cousin.” The following are the words to a song that was recorded by Elvis Presley back in the 1960s era concerning cousins:
Well I’ve got a gal,
She’s as cute as she can be.
She’s a distant cousin,
But, she’s not too distant with me.
We’ll kiss all night.
I’ll squeeze her tight.
But we’re kissing cousins,
And that’s what makes it all right.
All right, All right, All right.
So, I guess if it was all right with Elvis, it should be all right for anyone, right?
